lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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