i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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