I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
