I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
