Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
