She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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