you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
