half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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