Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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