Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
