She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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