And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
