margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
