they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
