You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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