He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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