You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
