I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Vodka?
Forever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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