I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
