fuck your aforementioned shoe
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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