is your mom at the bar?
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
