If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
