Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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