i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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