I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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