forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
