she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
