Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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