Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
