Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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