I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
