no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
