i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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