This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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