I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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