i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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