He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
