You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't think brook has ever known best
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
