Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
