I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
