According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
