i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
