so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
