I feel like I'm in dance class right now
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize