I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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