Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
