Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
