And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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