i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
