We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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