I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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