i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was like his penis was on wheels.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
only you would photoshop your dick
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
