do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
