U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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