suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
