I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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