why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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