what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize